Birthdays are for celebrating and no one knows how to celebrate birthdays better than children. Days are counted, lists are accumulated and anticipation is savored. It is one of the few times in a child's life when she or he can bask in being special with no holes barred. This specialness is well-represented in books written for children, each being marked with its own particular interpretation of the event.

What is a Birthday?

Every child who loves birthdays (and is there one that doesn't?) will want to know where birthdays came from. According to Gail Gibbons who wrote Happy Birthday the festivities were initiated long ago by people who believed that evil and good spirits who visited on birth days and that having friends family and noise around would keep away the evil. Ms. Gibbons simple illustrations and tellings explain birthday customs and also tell fascinating facts like birthday good luck colors, flowers and give factual descriptions of many facets of birthdays. Age 3-6. (Holiday, 1986).

Lila Perl's Candles, Cakes and Donkey Tails, formatted for an older child discusses origins of celebrations and discusses celebrations all over the world. Ages 5-9. (Clarion, 1984 )

It might help your child to remember his or her own reason for celebrating with a reading of Linda Girard's You Were Born on Your Very First Birthday . Girard tells the story of conception to birth with vivid images and soft, warm illustrations. I usually follow reading this book by finding my children's baby books and reading my own description of their births. Ages 3-7. (Whitman, 1983)

Cynthia Rylant's Birthday Presents is a warm family history of how one child has celebrated the birthdays of her young life. Accounts are so particular in detail, they ring true and yet, so general in familiar feelings of family intimacy that they may inspire you to tell your own stories. Ages 3-6. (Orchard, 1987)

Early Birthdays

A child's appreciation of birthday begins early in life. Singing always seems a good way to introduce concepts for the young. In Merle Peek's Mary Wore Her Red Dress , the illustrator gives this well-known song a birthday party setting. The book is a way to express an individual holiday, or give young birthday guests a personal greeting. The book begins with black and white illustration and as colors are added in song, so are they incorporated in picture making the book an excellent introduction to color. Ages 6 mo. - 4 years. (Clarion, 1985)

At Max's Birthday, the young bunny hero receives a wind-up dragon toy that destroys the party while his older sister Rosie gives chase. Max, first frightened, is delighted by the end of the small tale. Ages 1-3. (Dial, 1985)

In Eve Rice's Benny Bakes a Cake, small Benny involves himself in his birthday by becoming an active participant in every phase of his cake-baking. He awaits only the bliss of eating it when his dog knocks the cake to the floor and devours it. Benny's disappointment is fierce until his father turns up with a surprise that makes Benny's birthday happy after all. Ages 1-5. (Greenwillow, 1981)

For many young children, the major birthday elation might be in the joy of growing older. In Pat Hutchins' Happy Birthday, Sam, this is what Sam looks forward to. With simple words and illustrations, Hutchins shows how one of Sam's gifts gives him the independence he desires. Ages 2-5 (Viking, 1981)

A great preparation for an early birthday invitation is Eric Hill's Spot's Birthday Party. Featuring the same cast of characters as Where's Spot?, this book is usually the first sequel that a young child experiences. Party hats, treats, presents and balloons are all featured in the hide and seek party adventure. Ages 1-4. (Putnam, 1982)

Giving and Getting

I love birthday excitement and we plan birthdays for weeks before building the wonderment by discussing ways to make invitations, presents we'd like to give to guests (generally we give books rather than the conglomeration of party bag favors that are rarely played with after the event) and also what we'd like to receive. My children begin dreaming about gifts months before the event. Every time my child enters a store and admires and asks, I suggest that they put it on their birthday wish list (or holiday list if that is closer). I find this has cut down my year-round impulse spending while it aids my children in determining what they really want! I love to encourage their dreaming about what they'd love to get and have given everything from gift certificates for a special date alone to a hand-written promise for a bus ride to a favorite spot.

Lois Duncan's The Birthday Moon is a dreamy rhymed fantasy of moon birthday gifts ranging from golden balloon to half-moon hammock. Ms. Duncan's wild creative whimsy is well-balanced by her attention to realities as she frames her story in the phases of a diminishing moon, taking care to make the gift-value of a slivered-moon as full as that of a rounded one. Each fantasy is one that children can immerse and delight themselves in and perhaps to go on and dream about other improbable gifts. Ages 2-6. (Viking, 1989)

Probably the height of birthdays for many children is the gift opening, that often becomes a mad frenzy of unwrapping. As a parent, I have found a few ways to make this event a little less overwhelming. One year we hid my son's presents and now he asks that we follow this custom every year. An unexpected result of this practice was that he focused on one gift before moving on to the next.

Birthday party gift-opening is probably the most intense part of the event. I found it helps to coach children before the event arrives. A child needs to know what to do in the event of multiple presents, receiving something they already own, appreciating something that is homemade or pausing briefly to make the giver feel special. I found that when I made up scenarios, dwelling on the feeling side of the issue, my children came up with their own fresh and spontaneous ideas and were then able to use them when the occasion arose.

I also found the present furor can be minimized by each guest giving presents as they arrive. This helps particularly for very young children who are easily overwhelmed by a large mound of booty. I sometimes save opening to the end of a party and have the guest receive their party favor when they give the present. At one of my favorite parties, the mother aided her child in hosting, inviting children up individually to give their gifts, so that each child was given a private focus.

I find it important to spend time concentrating on the balance of giving and getting, with an emphasis on the more intangible aspects of acquiring. Several books have aided me in making my point. Frank Asch's Happy Birthday, Moon is the story of a small bear who wants to give the moon a gift and believes he is communicating with the Moon when he hears an echo. Through a series of coincidences, the bear gives and receives the same present he's selected. Asch creates perfect balances in the actual story he tells and by extension in the images of friendship and giving and getting. Ages 3-6. (Prentice-Hall, 1982)

Eve Bunting's Happy Birthday, Dear Duck tells the story of a small desert-dwelling duck whose friends celebrate him with water presents. Young listeners will be buoyed along the Bunting's lilting rhymes and rhythms, wondering all the while, as Duck does, how he can possibly use these objects. Duck is a perfect role model of patient graciousness and is rewarded (as are young listeners) with a wonderful surprise. Illustrator Jan Brett hails with Bunting, the pleasure of birthday surprises and friendship is extolled as the greatest joy of the occasion. An extra added draw is that every child's favorite song, "Happy Birthday to me..." is imbedded in the text. Ages 2-6. (Clarion, 1988)

In Vera B. Williams' Something Special for Me, it's Rosa's birthday and her mother decideds to spend her jar full of hard-earned tips on something of Rosa's choosing. In a time when so many children are flooded with abundance, I appreciate seeing a child in the literature who is economically bound to make choices and find something that will be truly precious to her. Williams' illustrations and text also accent the loving warmth of a single-parent household. Ages 4-8. (Greenwillow, 1983)

One of my favorite stories of birthday giving is Eve Bunting's The Wednesday Surprise . In it a small girl and her grandmother conspire on a birthday present for the girl's father. It has something to do with books and we begin to imagine the girl is learning to read. Suddenly the element of surprise takes over and we learn that it is the child who has taught the adult to read. Could there ever be a more perfect medium to express the gift of literacy and the enjoyment that it offers everyone in the family? Ages 4-8. (Clarion, 1989)

Magical Hands by Marjorie Baker is the story of a strong friendship between four men that inspires birthday giving. Illustrations by Yoshi are strongly emotive and express the magic of friendship coming together with the enchantment of sharing in birthday wish fulfillment. Ages 4-8. (Picture Book Studios, 1989)

In Aunt Nina and Her Nephews and Nieces, Franz Brandenberg shows us an unusual aunt who uses her cat's birthday as an occasion to celebrate. Aunt Nina is concerned that her six young charges will need to be entertained. In truth just being at her house proves to be better than zoo, toy shop, theater, haunted house and Fluffy the cat provides the final surprise when she births six kitties on her own birthday! Ages 3-6. (Greenwillow, 1983)

Birthdays Bring Feelings

Birthdays are loaded! You know this after spending an afternoon on a child's playground and hearing "You can (or can't) come to my birthday party!" uttered over and over again. Many times this represents the first time the issue of rejection comes up for a child. Rejection is a feeling that is not age-specific and never stops smarting and so I was glad to see Holly Keller deal with this theme in Lizzie's Invitiation. Lizzie's reactions to her rejection are perfect and the ending feasible and pleasing. The illustrations are warm as text. Ages 3-6. (Greenwillow, 1987)

Ms. Keller shows again that she understands the deeper feelings of birthdays in Henry's Happy Birthday . To small Henry's disappointment, his birthday is not unfolding in the way he expected it to. Satisfaction comes when he allows surprises to change his preconceived pictures and then has a birthday to remember. Ages 3-6. (Greenwillow, 1990)

On the other hand, sometimes parties can heal rejection. Nancy, new to the neighborhood, is continually rebuffed by "four best friends". When Nancy invites them to her birthday party, their mothers order them to attend. During the wild and crazy revelry the four discover how much fun Nancy can be and so she becomes one of "five best friends." Karen Barbour's bright, bold illustrations and actions make this an artful and playful expression of the deeper themes represented. Ages 3-5. (HBJ, 1989)

For Nancy No-Size in the book by Mary Hoffman and Jennifer Northway, birthday means identity. Nancy is the middle-aged, middle-sized, middle-shaped, middle-colored child in a bi-racial family. Too few are the books with parents of different races, too few are books about middle siblings, so to find both issues in one book with a happy resolution is remarkable! Ages 3-5. (Oxford, 1987)

Birthdays are hard on a sibling in other ways too! In Marisabina Russo's Only Six More Days, Ben is thrilled by the thought of his impending birthday. His sister Molly is disgusted with his enthusiasm and finds every opportunity to negate his ecstasy. Molly is finally able to participate in the event as she discovers it's time to begin counting down the forty-seven days to her own birthday! Ages 4-7. (Greenwillow, 1988)

Alfie, the pre-school star of a series by Shirley Hughes, is invited to his first birthday party in Afie Gives a Hand. He is an eager participant in every phase of preparation until he learns his mother will not be staying at the party. Shirley Hughes shows herself once again to see the world from a realistic child's point of view. Her portrayal of Bernard, the birthday boy, is astute and accurate. How many times have you seen children transformed into monsters by the occurrence of their birthdays? As usual the solution comes from Alfie who comforts little Min, a child even more afraid than he is. Realistic and racially balanced representation adds to the magic of the story. Ages 3-6. (Lothrop, 1983)

Can anything be worse for a child than Post-Birthday Depression? Benajmin finds a creative solution to his sadness in Judi Barrett's Benjamin's 365 Birthdays. Humor results from idea and illustration as the woeful pups cheers himself up all year round by wrapping up gifts and treasured possessions! Ages 3-6. (Atheneum, 1974)

Favorite Characters Have Birthdays Too!

Character familiar to children have a whole series of birthday issues. In Arthur's Birthday, by Marc Brown, Arthur's classmate Muffy is celebrating on the same day and the unhappy class is divided into two groups until Arthur comes up with a creative solution. Ages 4-8. (Little Brown, 1989)

In Happy Birthday Rotten Ralph, Ralph is up to his usual rotten tricks and so becomes a great model for non-exemplary behavior. In response, his owner, Sarah tells him she will not give him a birthday party. Ralph realizes the error of his ways and is a regretful cat until... his surprise party. Maybe the incorrigible cat doesn't learn his lesson thoroughly (witness him sticking a pin in another cat instead of the donkey), but he certainly seems to understand the joy of an almost-missed party. Ages 4-8. (Hougton Mifflin, 1990)

In Gene Zion's No Roses for Harry Harry, the Dirty Dog receives a birthday sweater he does not like at all, but finds a bird who is grateful for receiving the gift second hand. Ages 3-6. (Harper and Row, 1958),

Bernard Waber's Lyle is so alligator-green with jealousy that he becomes sick when is boy-owner has a birthday. As usual in Lyle and the Birthday Party there is a happy ending as Lyle gets his own celebration. (Houghton Mifflin, 1966)

Else Minarik's I-Can-Read hero, Little Bear has a birthday in the book of the same name. When can not find his mother on his birthday, he decides to throw his party. The party is made complete with his mother appearance with a cake and warm motherly reassurance. (Harper and Row, 1957)

Birthday themes figure strongly as well in Russel Hoban's A Birthday for Frances (Ages 4-8, Harper and Row, 1976 ); Jane Yolen's Picnic With Piggins (Ages 6-8, HBJ, 1989); Craig's Angelina's Birthday Surprise (Ages 3-6, Crown, 1990), Trina Noble's Jimmy's Boa and the Big Splash Birthday Bash (Ages 4-7, Dial, 1989) and Ludwig Bemelman's Madeline in London (Ages 4-7, Viking).

Help!

If you are the kind of parent who is fed up with the same children's birthday parties and you want some creative suggestions for party planning, I have found several books that I think helpful to parents. Penny Warner's Happy Birthday Parties! is a theme-oriented resource. Invitations, games, decorations, food and favors are suggested for parties such as "You're the Mommy and Daddy party" to a "Beauty Salon party". (St. Martin's Press, 1985)

Jean Marzollo's Birthday Parties for Children begins with an eight page introduction that includes information such as five reason that birthday children cry. The book goes on to suggest age-appropriate parties for children 1- 10, including a Scientist's party complete with ice cream soda's and a volcano centerpiece that blows up. Ms. Marzollo also devotes chapters to games, special projects, food and a birthday record book. (Harper and Row, 1983)

Other books of help to parents are: Vicki Lansky's Birthday Parties (Book Peddlers, 1989) and Jeremy Sage's Birthday Party Book: How to Give Your Child a Happy Birthday. (Crown, 1987)