Reading aloud fosters family strength and growth. Mem Fox, in her new, quick-read, Reading Magic: Why Reading Aloud to Our Children Will Change Their Lives Forever (Harcourt, $12.00) relates findings that children must hear a hundred stories read aloud before they, themselves, can read and that recent brain research shows "the crucial connections that determine how clever, creative, and imaginative a child will be are already laid down by the time that a child turns one."
Fox has written a book which balances passion, practicality, and humor. With anecdotes from her own life and the lives of others, Fox takes the scare out of statistics and describes spirited read aloud sessions that enrich a child's relationship with stories, words, thinking, and their parents. Fox describes reading together as a delicious "chocolate" experience that can't be matched by television because it gives children a chance to talk back. Reading aloud builds family closeness through years of shared pleasure.
Characters, words and ideas of books have established a sense of story structure for my children, as they built foundations for our family. We found calm in books at bedtime, soothed fears, voiced feelings, prepared for situations, changed crabby moods, and talked about life as we viewed characters' values and actions. As my children grew into lifetime readers, we collected book memories that will endure forever.
So, while many extol the virtues of reading aloud with children for their childrens' sakes, I have a second and equally important recommendation about reading aloud...do it not only for your children, but for yourself !
Reading aloud provides easy access to feelings, important values, and meaningful conversations. Reading aloud, even if it's for only for twenty minutes a day, will slow down the madness of the world, put you in touch with the more important parts of life and help you grow together as a family.
The other day, in a classroom, I was reading aloud a new paperback re-release of Raymond Briggs' Jim and the Beanstalk . The main character, an aged giant requests glasses, a wig, and new choppers from the young boy who's climbed his beanstalk. Throughout there's a chorus, "Get 'em, I'll pay good gold for them!" I remember my son Ben, at three, asking me to fetch something and quoting that giant. How I laughed at his reference then, but when I read to this book to a second grade class, fifteen years later, it was not the giant's commands, but his tiny voice that I heard in my head.
Chorus like this live easily in families. Mem Fox's Koala Lou is the story of a small bear who tries to win the Bush Olympics to recapture her mother's attention. Her mother is somewhat bogged-down by new siblings, but she repeats a loving refrain several times through out the story. "Koala Lou, I do love you." And at the book's end she adds, "Koala Lou, I do love you, I always have and always will." I modified this catchy, sound-rich chorus when I read this book (again and again) to my daughter, Emmy. "Emmy Lou," I'd proclaim, "I do love you. I always have and always will." This twist provided instant warmth, playful reassurance, a deep attachment to the story, and a way to slow down our busy world to share a hug. Still, I was unprepared when one day Emmy, at three, trilled, "Mama Lou, I do love you. I always have and always will."
Book characters become family members. We saw sunsets differently after we read Barbara Berger's magical Grandfather Twilight , the story of a mystical grandfather who lives among the trees and walks each night with a pearl. The pearl grows larger with every step until at last it becomes the moon above the silent sea. Then he returns home to sleep, his white beard mixing with the luminous clouds on his coverlet. Every time we saw a sunset, someone in our family would whisper, "Look, Grandfather Twilight's walking." Barbara Berger's personification gave a symbol of last light for my children to take inside themselves, guard against fears of dark and ease the transition to evening quiet.
Stories can teach difficult issues with laughter. I'll always remember being disarmed by belly-laughs in the middle of a book store when I picked up The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry and the Big Hungry Bear by Don and Audrey Wood. I was immediately sucked in by the emotive, singing quality of the book and by the small mouse hero who picks a forbidden fruit and attempts to hide it in a variety of ways from the bear who wants it. The illustration that got me giggling was the one where he disguises it with Groucho-glasses. Finally, the mouse avoids detection by sharing the strawberry. While this book proved helpful in showing how sharing works, my strongest memories came from my son's preschool. We shared the book, ate strawberries, and then each child made a groucho-strawberry mask. We took a class picture wearing our masks and sent it to the authors.
Many parents miss some of the most wonderful read-aloud opportunities. They stop reading aloud when their children are able to read to themselves. This is a grave mistake. Remember, you didn't stop speaking to your children when they started talking. Reading aloud is a way to stretch your children, for they can listen to books with greater sophistication than those they can read to themselves. Novels and older picture books introduce more complicated vocabulary, ideas, plots and characters while you enjoy the read-aloud experience with more depth and meaning than ever before.
My favorite book memories might change tomorrow, or even in the next minute, for I'll suddenly remember the book that I've recommended to the most families, our favorite holiday book, our most-often-read book, or the first book my children read aloud unassisted. Memories matter just as much as the books, for their stories have led to our own. I've discovered over time that the most important gift books have to offer is the relationship that grows between them and their readers.
Here are some general guidelines to help you prepare for the most important twenty minutes of your day. Begin by taking the phone off the hook, or at least let the answering machine take your calls. Indulge yourself and your children with uninterrupted time. Your kids are your greatest fans you can be as dramatic and foolish as you want, you can even sing off key and they'll still love every second of your reading.
Ask questions after reading. Don't look for right answers, but throw out ideas that will let you wonder together. Maybe you can compare the book to others you've read or to your own life. Or you can ask your chilren what they wonder about. Here are five leading questions to start you off.